Learn why you should never date a comedian on this week’s Brooklyn Paper Radio!

No, Gersh Kuntzman should not date a comedian.

This was the most significant piece of news broken on Brooklyn Paper Radio this week, one week after a stunning special edition of the program revealed that co-host Kuntzman is again single (his fault!).

Jennifer Salzman, the comedian and owner of the new bar and performance space Salzy in Park Slope, flat-out told the newly single Kuntzman and devoutly monogamous show co-host Vince DiMiceli that comics are not dating fodder.

“It’s awful to date a comedian,” she said. “It’s the worst thing ever because we’re insane. Why do you think we got into comedy? Comedians are all messed up in the head. We didn’t get enough attention as children. We’re all narcissists. We need to be seen and be the loudest person in the world.”

On the bright side, Kuntzman said, that does sound like the current qualifications for the presidency. Salzman disagreed — and even said she wouldn’t book President-elect Trump if he called and said he wanted a five-minute slot on the Salzy stage.

“Hell no I wouldn’t book him,” she said.

DiMiceli was especially critical, given that Trump’s pulling power could put Salzy on the map for years. But Salzman demurred.

“What upsets me the most about Donald Trump is that I used to love a good pussy grab,” she said “But now it’s not cool. He ruined it.”

Kuntzman reminded Salzman that he has never done such a thing to a woman without a clear invitation.

“So what am I doing wrong?” the lonely host asked.

“You’re a man,” Salzman volunteered, giving Kuntzman one more reason to shun comics as bedmates. “I’m a little bit of an anti-man person. Actually, I’m not anti-man. I’m anti-men. I do like a man on occasion.”

Also on Brooklyn Paper Radio, DiMiceli recounted how he was driving behind a commuter on the Gowanus Expressway and watched in horror as the driver tossed a massive bag of garbage onto the roadway in front of him.

“I call it ‘carbage,’ ” the still-shocked DiMiceli said.

“I’m having that tear coming out of my eye, like Iron Eyes Cody in the Keep America Beautiful public service ad,” Kuntzman added.

Community Newspaper Group editor Max Jaeger also stopped by to talk about the closure of BookCourt. Let the record show that Jaeger did not shed a tear.

It was all part of Brooklyn Paper Radio, recorded and podcast live every Thursday at 4:45 pm — for your convenience — from our studio in America’s Downtown and can be found, as always, right here on BrooklynPaper.com, on iTunes, on Mixlr, and of course, on Stitcher.

And don’t forget to check out Salzy [506 Fifth Ave. between 12th and 13th streets in Park Slope, (718) 788–1635, www.salzybar.com]. Open Mon–Fri, 5 pm–2 am; Sat–Sun, noon–2 am.